Monday, June 4th,

WOW I havent done this in a long time..... i have so much to tell but not right now.... :(

Saturday, November 18th, 2006

its been a while....

so its been a while since my last entry and a lot has happened. First off, the ffa convention was awesome, though it was a little intimidating to play in front of 18,000 people every session. there were a lot of cool kids there, and it kind of made me feel old being in my 24th year of life, but theres not much to be done about that. halloween was fun, i think, i dont really member what i did. i think i just watched a movie with some friends. in other news, God has been really amazing in my life lately, and i've been experiencing a lot of growth, through ways i've never expected. a lot of things have been made known to me and its been an amazing time in my life.... well thats all the updates i have for this moment, its getting late, and i'm going ot a new church tomorrow, so i have to get my rest on.....

night!

Friday, October 13th, 2006

really fun night....

i went out to the reeb's house for dinner tonight, vegetarian chili, it was pretty good, the best part was the white chocolate pumkin cookies, dang, i just rembered i left the bread and peanutbutter i just bought over there that stinks, and it was the a big thing of peanut butter. oh well.... i left there for a bit and went to cafe royale and played a few songs at the open mic night they were putting on. after that, i went back to the reeb's and carved pumpkins, i'll post pics of those, but take my word for it they were pretty sweet, i even used a chizle on one, is that how you spell chizel? looks funny, maybe its chisel, oh well, really good night though. and i'm heading down to ben's home in brown county with a large group of people, i love it down there, and it will be a good chance to get away....

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

a job

i've been spending a lot of time thinking lately.... and have come to the conclusion that i need to find a job. im struggling with feelings of uselessness with so much idle time. i'm a person that was designed to have a purpose for every moment, it may sound funny but sometimes i just feel like i need to be needed, i need people to depend on me because that's how i best function. i'm a go to guy.... i get things done, and if theres a way to accomplish something, i have a passion for figuring it out. but when i have nothing to do, and no one that needs me i feel like i'm incomplete i even get bumbed out.... i know.... im weird. but its just how i am. when i have a million things on my plate i am happy. when theres not too much, it somehow makes me feel lonely. i've never really realized this fact until recently, because as long as i can remember i've had a job. and without one i feel incomplete.... so.... starting tomorrow, i'm looking for work.... its the answer. i spent time with God trying to work through why i've been feeling so down lately, and that is what He had to say. which is kind of a relief because for a while i thought there was something majorly wrong with me because my pieces have been so out of whack. but i know that they will soon be back in order again. and that makes me happy. so if you know anyone hiring, im your man.

Friday, September 29, 2006

random updates on my life

so much going on....

heres a list in no random order of stuff:

-i have a set of wilco tickets on ebay that are bid up to 187.50 right now
-going to see darling play tonight and going to natlalie pegan's studio opening
had lunch today with a big wig from ely lilly
-wrote a new song
-found out yesterday i'm going to have a hectic week towards the end of november, i'll be driving back and forth from lafayette to indy to go to classes and play guitar everyday for a conference of 50,000 FFA kids on top of that i'm leading worship for TNT right in the middle of that week
-hosting s. truit cathy, founder and ceo of chick fillet next friday.
-have an exam in management 306 tuesday, and have no clue how to do a lot of the stuff
-i cleaned the bike garage, next thing to tackle is my bedroom.... thats going to be a big one
-got kicked out of BW3's last night because they had to close because there was sewage coming up through the floor..... gross.
-learning how to be a concert promoter
- sending off resumes to 10 companies for potential jobs, hope to get this done by next friday
- wilco wednesday
- birthday dinner with Christina Tuesday night
- Josh Garrels and Mary bue show at royale Thursday night
- have to read an s. truit cathy book by friday
- started going through the healing prayer ministry with laura hirleman
- finding a part time job, i'll have to wait a week before i'll have time.
- getting my windshield fixed next week, have to drive a nasty rental car, im sure, maybe it will be cushy, pushin for the caddy or vet, or bently.... you know how it is.
- leaves are turning orange:-)
- there are squirrels living on our front porch
- some dude swindled me into buying $25 worth of steak out of the back of his truck - tried to get me to by $400 worth.... i'm no sucker.... but that dude was a liar, and who needs tht much meat?
- started flossing everyday and using mouth wash.... its amazing how nice your teeth feel when you do these things....
- got asked atleast 25 times what im doing this weekend in the course of 2 hours. - still no concrete plans for anyone that wants to know.... probably seeing a movie at some point with ben, steph, and shana
- smacked myself in the eye with my umbrella last night.
- booked a show for november 18th for the red flecks, darling, and hopefully the half rats, at down town records, so be there
- almost got hit by a car today longboarding to class....

.... feeling kind of tired, and slightly overwhelmed but if i have time for you i'll squeeze you in somewhere....

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

birthday a few days behind

so i turned 24 this past saturdy.... i am not in my middle 20's.... doesnt seem quite fair. but i guess we all have to get older. its just funny because i can totally remember turning 5, i had a big bird cake, or wait, maybe that was the year i had burt and ernie.... regardless it was a long time ago. Anyhow, this past birthday was the best on record so far.... i went with a group of my closest friends.... dallas, rebekah, bethany, and christina, and andy down to see sufjan stevens in indy. Somehow, we managed to get seats in the first and 2nd rows right in front of the grand mother bird, or whatever he tried to call himself. It was an amazing show, and an amazing night complete with birthday cake and fine dining at the rock bottom brewhouse. so.... closest friends.... you have almost a year to think of how you're going to make next year better.... the challenge is on.... :-)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

i can barely move my arms

ok yeah thats what it says.... i lifted sooo many heavy weights tonight that i couldnt even take off my shirt.... im sore.... anybody good with massages?

Monday, August 07, 2006

nice day

so i woke up this morning to thunder, lightning, and rain.... and it made me happy. i always have enjoyed laying in bed and listening to rain.... so i took it one step further.... i went down to my porch and laid on the couch with a blanket and just watched the rain and listened to the storm.... one of the best mornings i had in a while.... the only thing that could have made it better was a cup of coffee and a puacha (probably not spelled right because i dont know how to make one of those funny c with a q tail things) anyhow.... thats what i got for today....

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

they keep coming to me....

just another rainy night
put on my raincoat
try to stand beneath the lights
rain on my shoulders

you really left me behind....
i'll find another way home
i'll find another way home
i'll find another way home....

i'll fake a smile so you can't tell
just how im feeling
you think you know me oh so well
but you know nothing

i might just leave you behind....
and find another way home
i'll find another way home
i'll find another way home
i'll find another way home....

there's got to be some in between
a time and space for you and me
a time and place where we can be....
set free....

dont want to leave you behind
dont want to leave you behind
dont want another way home
dont want another way home
dont want another way home
dont want another way home
come on and take me home....

Friday, May 19, 2006

another new song....

though time could never reach us
it seems to leave us always looking back
through pains that we had left behind,
or so we thought we paid the price back then....

and it all comes rushing back
just like a bullet through my brain
i tell myself dont act this way
i tell myself to get away
and in the end im always standing
alone and insecure
with fire, i feel, i always play
with fire it seems i always get burned

oh, wont you catch my burdens
oh, wont you hold me close to your heart....

through pain i came into this world
through pain i learned to live my day to day
but through faith i found another way
but time and time i let it slip away

and it all comes rushing back
just like a bullet through my head
i tell myself dont act this way
i tell myself to get away
in the end im always standing
alone and insecure
with fire, i feel, i always play
with fire i know i'll always get burned

oh, wont you catch my burdens
oh, wont you hold me close to your heart....
oh, wont you catch my burdens
oh, wont you hold me close to your heart....

say that you'll always love me....
tell me i have no reason to fear....

Sunday, May 14, 2006

song i wrote today....

(this is a fictional satire on human interaction) let me know what you think.....

the only love you've ever known
was love that came from someone else's hurting
beyond the broken hour glass
as time stood still, you laid your traps, in longing
but you hide yourself down deep....

show me your fears
the ones that you hide
cause i feel this wrestless
longing inside
you take it down deep
where the sun will not shine
and it eats you
time after time

the simple twist of alcohol
the soothing drug takes over all your feelings
till you dont know whats up or down
but it feels good to forget for a while
and you hide yourself down deep....

show me your fears
the ones that you hide
cause i feel this wrestless
longing inside
you take it down deep
where the sun cannot shine
and it eats you
time after time

all my insecurities
shine through in how i act
when you're around me
till i dont know whats wrong or right
i'll let it slip just one more time, in theory
and i'll hide myself down deep....

(more or less, about how we struggle to be known but hide ourselves at the same time, through different forms of diversion)